I didn't see it coming.
In 2009 my wife stopped me on my way to work and said she didn't love me anymore. I bloody nearly fell over. We had a four-year-old daughter and a three-year-old son.
To be honest, it completely fucked me. I had this concept of what my family was going to be. Having that stripped away from me and not being able to live with my kids — that was so heavy to manage.
I moved out to a rented place on Sydney's Northern Beaches, close enough to keep them in sight. I woke up one day in that new house with no furniture, on a foam mattress in a sleeping bag. I was ready to take my boot-laces out and find the closest rafter.
My old man told me to see a counsellor. I was furious. I went anyway. Best thing I ever did.
What I learnt over the next few years: it wasn't all my ex-wife's fault. My ego was running the show. The only argument worth winning is the one where my kids end up okay. So I worked on it. I walked. Did push-ups every time my brain spun back to the divorce — ended up doing fucking hundreds a day. Learnt to meditate. Started talking — properly, not the pub version.
Eight years on I was remarried, three more kids, five in total. The business I run is the best work of my life. Laguna Lighting does the lighting for shows like MasterChef. You've probably seen the work without knowing the bloke behind it.
I still fuck up as much as anyone. There is no "do it once and you're suddenly a new guy." But the 33-year-old me on that foam mattress had no idea any of this was possible. He needed someone to tell him what worked, without bullshit, without selling him anything, without being too American or too soft.
That's why this site exists.
