BetterDads · Guide 4 of 5
What Not To Do
Separation series · Guide 4 of 5

What not to do.

The mistakes most separated fathers make — and how to avoid the ones that do permanent damage.

There are mistakes that hurt for a year. There are mistakes that hurt for ten.

The difference is rarely about how angry you were or how unfair the situation was. It's about whether — in the worst moments — you knew what NOT to do. Most of the damage that follows men out of separation isn't the separation itself. It's a handful of choices, made in pain or rage or panic, that they can't take back.

What this guide is for

Guide 4 of 5. The shortest, sharpest, most practical of the series. Read it on a bad day before you do something you'll regret.

Inside: the seven mistakes that do the longest damage — using your kids as messengers, weaponising visitation, badmouthing their mother, drinking through the worst of it, the social-media rant, the rebound that hurts everyone, and the slow disappearance dressed up as keeping the peace. Each one is named, explained, and paired with what to do instead.

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The archive

Men who've sat down and told the truth.

Men who've been through the middle of it — divorce, court, the rebuild — on camera, saying what it was actually like.

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